So it has finally come to this, you think sadly. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. You had everything planned. But your castle in the sky has come crushing down and there seems to be no way to break this fall…
She was the love of your life. She complemented you in ways you felt no one else could. You knew she would be a great help to you in the ministry; your ministry. But everything turned sour.
She was a vivacious girl with plenty of friends, both male and female. Her father who served as an elder on your church board disapproved of her outgoing nature but her personality delighted you. You couldn’t believe it when she said yes to your proposal.
She had a guy friend who was her childhood playmate whom she visited often. You knew this guy; he seemed nice enough and you did nothing to inhibit their friendship. She was so sweet and never gave you any cause to worry. One fateful day when she went to visit him, her childhood playmate arranged with a group of guys to violate the love of your life. Yes.your fiancée was raped. The word still throws you into an unspeakable rage when you think of it.
Felicia was so ashamed that she didn’t tell anyone about the incident till it was too late and she was carrying a baby. Of course she didn’t know whose it was. When the ugly truth came out, it was received with cynicism. Even her parents did not believe her. She had been too close to her childhood playmate. But you did. You knew she wouldn’t lie to you. You still loved her; even more for the trauma that she passed through. You still wanted to marry her. Felicia blamed herself; something that hurt you more than she could understand. She asked you to leave her and find someone else more suited to you and your ministry. But you knew what she obviously didn’t. She was perfect for you.
You still wanted her as your wife. There was only one problem. The church didn’t agree with you. They couldn’t or wouldn’t have such a promiscuous woman as their pastor’s wife. If you married Felicia, then you couldn’t be their pastor. And that was that. You could either marry Felicia and lose your ministry or forget about her and move on. None of the choices seemed palatable. You have tried to put off making the decision and now Felicia’s baby has been born.
The church board is awaiting your decision. What do you do? Marry the love of your life? Or marry your calling?
( By Sola Oniyide)
P.S : This is a really sad situation that happens more often than we think. Women get raped but for many reasons, choose not to disclose it. When their significant other finds out, it poses a lot of problems. And the decision on what to do doesn’t seem as clear-cut as one would wish. Let’s discuss why disclosing the fact that they are raped is such a problem for women and what the pastor should do in this situation.