Today\’s story was inspired by something I heard about recently. Please read, learn and enjoy.
Leaving the Past in the Past. Part 1
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I really did not know why I let Soji in that night. I mean I knew we were done. There was no way I was going back to him. Tope and I were heading down the aisle in a few months and I loved him with all my heart. But I guess Soji and I needed closure. We had broken off rather violently and I still smarted from the things he said to me that awful night. So when he started chatiing with me on facebook, I felt compelled to answer and we started becoming friends again. He called me occasionally and said he was glad that we could still be friends. I guess I was glad too. Soji was so different from Tope-all fiery and demanding. Tope was like an angel-easy to please and dependable. But I guess I still missed Soji’s presence in my life.
One night he called me that he was passing through my area and he just wanted to say hi. It was around 7/30pm, still a decent time by Lagos standards. I lived alone but I did not feel that was a problem. I had never been physical with Soji and I was certainly not going to start that night. I agreed and he came in and we started gisting about our old friends. I didn’t look at the time until it was 3 hours later and I realized it was getting late. I told him the time and he sighed.
“You’re right,” he said. “I should go. But I don’t want to. I’ve forgotten how easy you are to talk to.”
I smiled in response. I bit my lip to keep from saying that he never said that while we were dating. As the saying goes, you never know what you have until you lose it. Besides, it didn’t matter now. I belonged to Tope. Soji stared at me for a moment and told me that breaking up with me was the biggest mistake he had ever made. I could suddenly feel my heart racing as he said: “I need you Abigail,” and leaned towards me. I did not realize when I started kissing him back but I pushed him away. He apologized and quickly took his leave. I could not believe what had happened. How on earth was I to tell Tope about this? I couldn’t let him know about it. It was just a stupid mistake…one I knew wouldn’t happen again. I knew that it was dangerous to keep talking with Soji but I reasoned that we were both just on an emotional high. He was my ex after all. We got caught up in the moment. An unguarded moment.
We would be careful next time. Then I caught myself. What was I saying? Next time? There wouldn’t be a next time. Soji was unlikely to come to my house again. I would just keep talking to him but limit physical contact. Well, that was the beginning of my self -deception.
Hahaha. What is he doing in her house? That alone is evidence of poor judgement by the lady. It is generally not advisable to maintain close contact with an ex. Of course, there will be exceptions such as the situation in which the pair are colleagues or neighbours or when they share close friends. In such instances, the interaction should be kept cordial but restricted. “Hi hello” is enough, and don’t wait for further pleasantries. If indeed a repeat romance is not desirable, then, let them go, totally!
No need for closure. Ladies like that a lot. He is just one person in the universe. If it didn’t work out, it didn’t work out. What is she going to achieve by proving to him that he was the one at fault?!
Kissing him back? I think that they were already physical before. Yes, kissing is a physical something. Hahaha. It is not a spontaneous event. The interval may be ultrashort, but it is still normally preceded by the conscious decision to do it. That she responded in that way is proof that that level of physical interaction had become second nature. In other words, it was force of habit.
It is best to avoid soul ties, and keep one’s body and impulses for one’s eventual spouse. The failure to do that is the cause of so much infidelity today.
There is no guarantee that even a courtship will end in marriage, and christians do well to abstain from all physical gratification of sensual desires until after ‘I do’ has been said. It is a tough thing to do, sometimes frustrating. Perhaps it will help sisters to know that even though the brothers can’t seem to control their appetites, they know the thrill of a gift kept unopened till Christmas day. So, are we abdicating the responsibility of self-control to our sisters? Somebody has to remain sane! Sister Soji. Let that be you!
I agree with you on a lot of points especially ladies need for closure. But on the person to remain sane, it doesn’t have to be the lady alone. Both should work at maintaining a non-frisky relationship.
I’m tired of hearing guys who make lame excuses once they’re caught or get a girl pregnant and say: “But, I didn’t force her.” However, whatever he said or did made her succumb. Why did he ask for it in the first place? Anyway, let’s watch out for what happens to Abigail next episode. Part 2 on thursday.
Interesting scenario indeed. The lady definitely has good intentions, but she is over-estimating her own strength. I agree that two adults with a history between them can still maintain a light friendship, but meeting at home is a no, no. This last meeting almost ended in trouble. She is flirting with danger and needs to give herself some space.
@Victor: they need not have been physical before, our brains have been so programmed by media these days that we can respond in very foolish ways to chemical cues. It just requires setting your brain aside for a few seconds.
Hahaha. That’s true @ Ife, and that’s why, among other measures, I haven’t watched a secular movie for a very long time. @Vicky, I put that last line to trigger a discussion. It is important to walk with someone who shares your convictions, revelations, values and morals. A relationship should have a leader, and then mentors to whom the couple are accountable. If the leader, who is normally the guy, loses it, as is often the case, then the lady should assume the leadership position on that issue and be strong enough to set him straight! In any case, from first principles, whether he is friend or fiance, he shouldn’t be there that late. As an ex, he should never be there.
Hmmmmm…..part 2 next