What Do Women Really Want?
I had a discussion with a friend recently and we were discussing the male psyche. During our discussion, I was made to see some of the wrong perceptions men have about women. Sometimes women seem to confuse a lot of men. So it made me ask myself the question: what do women really want? It’s not exactly rocket science. Despite the fact that women seem like pretty complex beings, what women want from their partner is basically very simple. Apart from the generic tall, dark and handsome(not really true by the way) and the vague; “I want a man who is God-fearing” traits that women give as top on their list. There are a few basic things that women really want:
1. Affirmation: Women want to feel like they’re wanted. It’s funny but women need to hear things like that over and over again no matter their temperament. As a man, never fail to compliment your woman. A lot of men forget to do that, thinking she already knows how great she is. Sometimes she needs to be reminded! Never fail to tell her how much you love and appreciate her.
Lack of affirmation can make a woman feel insecure in the relationship. Chances are, if she’s the gem you think she is, other people haven’t failed to notice it and are admiring her and telling her in person. Don’t let some dude ruin your hard-earned work! What’s the number one cause of infidelity among women? No, it’s not because the other guy has more money. The number one reason women are unfaithful is because they don’t feel loved by their partners. How does she know that you love her? Affirm her.
2. Respect: Women crave respect from their men. They don’t want to be shouted down on or laughed at for their opinions. Women have a voice and they should be heard. Listen to her once in a while. You’ll be shocked at the knowledge and wisdom she displays. She’d like to know that you think she’s smart enough to ask for her advice on your personal issues. You may be her knight in shining armor but give her the opportunity to rescue you once in a while.
3. Transparency: Women love a guy who is transparent. They want to have honest, meaningful relationships. There’s no need to act dodgy with a woman. Why do you get into a relationship in the first place if it’s not to share your heart with that person? Let her see to the very core of you. Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts or your feelings with that person. It makes her feel valued and she’ll be more encouraged to share hers with you too. It goes without saying that you need to be honest. Be honest about your past. If you really want a long term relationship with that person, don’t keep skeletons in your cupboard. She’s bound to find out one day. It’s better she hears it from you first.
4. A Provider: All women want a man who is capable of being a provider. They don’t want a man who keeps asking for soft loans every week. Even if things are tight for you, if she’s a good woman, she’ll appreciate your making an effort. To show her you can be a provider, you don’t need to ply her with so many expensive gifts. For many women, it’s the thought that counts. You can give her little inexpensive gifts. Gifts that you can easily afford. Even a thoughtfully written card goes a long way.
5. Sense of humor: Women want a man who can make them laugh. Their definition of their having a good time during a date is if the fellow was able to make them laugh. They usually rate such guys highly. It’s not about cramming a lot of jokes from a book. It’s about being able to see the funny side of a situation or event. If you haven’t got it, don’t worry an enlightened member of the male gender once told me that it could be cultivated. You just need to be willing to do it.
6. Good listener: It’s no secret that most women like to talk-a lot. Even if a woman isn’t talkative by nature, she’d still like you to listen to what she has to say. Not hear what she’s saying but actually listen. Pay her the compliment of your full attention. You can’t fake it. Your body language, maintain eye contact and even your responses would demonstrate if you’re listening or not. A guy that can listen is just well…irresistible.
7. Thoughtfulness: Women really appreciate a guy who is thoughtful. We don’t really want to have to spell out our needs to you one by one. We appreciate it a whole lot more if you can figure it out and offer to help. Thoughtfulness means remembering special dates. Getting us a cold drink when you see how tired we are. Offering to help us with our luggage. Helping us get ready for a presentation at work. Nothing brings a wider smile to a woman’s face than a thoughtful guy.
8. Presentability: Are you a presentable guy? It’s not really about the looks per se nor even the clothes. As long as you make the best of what you have, and you are confident in your own skin, then you’ve scored brownie points. You might not know how to speak in a romantic British accent, but be cultured enough to know how not to make inappropriate speeches or jokes. If you have a problem with speaking in the correct tenses, please work on it! Let her be proud to present you to friends and family and her colleagues.
9. Intelligence: Women who want a serious relationship want someone who is smart. At least, someone who can display a modicum of sense and be able to converse on most subjects. It’s so much better to keep quiet if you don’t know some things. Like someone said, better to keep your mouth shut and be suspected a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. It is pertinent to note however that a know-it-all is a turnoff.
10. Balance: A balanced person is someone who can juggle a lot of things and still give them proper time and attention. They want a man who can prioritize his relationship, his work, his family and his relationship with God. These days, life rushes us by at break-neck speed. Ladies want a man who is not so caught up in the rat-race that he has no time for other things. They want a man they can hope to go on vacations with, who can make himself available to hold their hand when they need it.
I do believe that these are some of the top ten things that most women want in a partner. Some of these traits do not come naturally to some men but it shouldn’t stop them from making an effort to cultivate them. Sometimes a man might try to do all of these things and still discover that he is not able to get into the lady’s heart especially if she has been scarred in the past. If he has a relationship with God, it makes things easier. He has the Almighty’s help in getting the perfect strategy!